Why Do I Always Pick The Wrong Guy? (or Woman)

The Wrong Guy

Do you often feel “slimed” after leaving your date? If you feel you always pick the “wrong guy” it’s time to take an inventory.  Something is clearly going on that needs fixing. But no worries. There is a great fix for this once and for all. You need to figure out why you attract and are picking the unhealthy guys. Everything we do has a purpose behind it. Once you figure out what the attraction is really about, you can change direction. Now, in all fairness, it works both ways. This concept applies to guys picking the wrong women. It…

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11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

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Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

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Relationship Checklist

Most of us want a special person in this world. We want someone who values, respects and helps protect us from hurt. Great relationships like this that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. In working with many couples over the years I have identified various relationship skills that help create the healthy and nourishing bond they were often struggling to achieve. Knowing these skills doesn’t mean it’s easy to practice them. But all relationships are a garden that must always be tended or it grows weeds. I have turned these relationship…

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Relationship Checklist For Couples and Singles – Intro

Realtionship Checklist Intro

Great relationships that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. This relationship checklist works for both couples and singles. It identifies the needed ingredients for a healthy and enduring romantic relationship. You can find a link to a downloadable version of the Relationship Checklist at the end of the article. We naturally want a close, loving, emotionally safe relationship with someone we cherish. What goes into making a relationship successful? Relationships are a lot of work and that will never change. We want to value, respect someone with whom we want to…

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11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

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People With These 14 Personality Traits Are Most Likely To Have A Secure Attachment Style

If you want to feel a secure attachment in your relationship pick someone with these qualities! People with a secure attachment style approach relationships differently from those who typically form problematic relationships. Their personality traits include being confident, emotionally open and loving. The fortunate person they love will feel secure, treasured, emotionally safe and highly valued by their secure partner. I say fortunate, because in one study done by Cindy Hazan Ph.D. and Phillip Shaver Ph.D. only 56% of people reported enjoying secure relationship attachments. But in order to attract someone with these personality traits, you need to first learn…

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Signs of An Emotionally Insecure Relationship With A Lover, Friend or Parent

In an insecure relationship the more attached we are to our “person” the more vulnerable we feel with them. When one partner pulls away the other partner most often will feel emotionally abandoned, disconnected and insecure of the bond, especially if this occurs often. Secure relationships are about having a secure emotional attachment with the other person. Our emotional attachments begin with our parents or guardian, evolve to our closest friends, and eventually lead to a romantic relationship with a partner. When we have a secure emotional attachment we feel safe, cared for, and that we can rely on “our…

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