Effective Ways of Building Trust in Someone and Also Yourself

Building Trust

Romantic relationships are the most vulnerable relationships we have. Our heart does what it wants, whether it’s good for us or not. This is why building trust in someone is essential if you want to feel less vulnerable.   However, romantic relationships are not alone in causing a vulnerability. Children are very vulnerable because they don’t even know about trust and how to build it. They don’t get to pick their parents. Therefore, they must find their own way to feel emotionally safe and secure, kind of in the “dark”. We’ll discuss this further when it comes to Self-Esteem in this…

Continue reading

11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

Continue reading

Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

Continue reading

Relationship Checklist

Most of us want a special person in this world. We want someone who values, respects and helps protect us from hurt. Great relationships like this that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. In working with many couples over the years I have identified various relationship skills that help create the healthy and nourishing bond they were often struggling to achieve. Knowing these skills doesn’t mean it’s easy to practice them. But all relationships are a garden that must always be tended or it grows weeds. I have turned these relationship…

Continue reading

So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

Continue reading

Relationship Checklist For Couples and Singles – Intro

Realtionship Checklist Intro

Great relationships that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. This relationship checklist works for both couples and singles. It identifies the needed ingredients for a healthy and enduring romantic relationship. You can find a link to a downloadable version of the Relationship Checklist at the end of the article. We naturally want a close, loving, emotionally safe relationship with someone we cherish. What goes into making a relationship successful? Relationships are a lot of work and that will never change. We want to value, respect someone with whom we want to…

Continue reading

Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Pic of Sassy Girl

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

Continue reading

How Self-Esteem Affects Dating, Choice of a Mate and Our Relationship

How Self Esteem Affects Dating

Self-Esteem affects dating in a very basic way: The healthier self-esteem we have, the healthier mate we will attract. More importantly, the better we feel about ourselves, the healthier our relationship can be because we choose a mate with about the same degree of self-esteem as ours. We are more likely to choose well when we are emotionally healthy. Relationships are a lot of work, therefore, the healthier we and our mate are, the easier we can function in the relationship. This means we can grow and enjoy each other in healthy ways over time.  What Self-Esteem Looks Like in…

Continue reading

11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

Continue reading

How Your Self-Esteem Dramatically Affects How You Date

Self-Esteem & Dating

In dating, how you feel about yourself, your “self-esteem”, will be either projected onto others or secretly hidden from them. And this occurs whether or not you are aware of doing it. How we feel about ourselves affects the friends we attract, as well as future dating partners or mates. We tend to attract the same degree of self-esteem in others that we feel about ourselves. Therefore, if you are not liking your friends or dating prospects you need to do a check on how you feel about yourself first. Dating is uncomfortable because we want to be seen as…

Continue reading