Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

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How Self-Esteem Affects Dating, Choice of a Mate and Our Relationship

How Self Esteem Affects Dating

Self-Esteem affects dating in a very basic way: The healthier self-esteem we have, the healthier mate we will attract. More importantly, the better we feel about ourselves, the healthier our relationship can be because we choose a mate with about the same degree of self-esteem as ours. We are more likely to choose well when we are emotionally healthy. Relationships are a lot of work, therefore, the healthier we and our mate are, the easier we can function in the relationship. This means we can grow and enjoy each other in healthy ways over time.  What Self-Esteem Looks Like in…

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What is the Difference Between Self-Image and Self-Esteem?

Self-Esteem vs Self-Image

Deepak Chopra clarifies the difference between Self-Image and Self-Esteem: “Do not confuse your image with your Self — your self-image is what other people think of you, and your Self (esteem) is what you think of you.”  He has also stated that self-image is how we want others to see us. Either way, our self-esteem is more internal and our self-image is projected outwardly. Let’s take a deeper look into the difference between self-image and self-esteem and how each affects our life.   The Difference Between Self-Image and Self-Esteem Ever feel uncomfortable in a room filled with people you don’t…

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Where Does Self-Image Come From?

Self-Image vs Self-Esteem

Self-image comes from how we view ourselves and how we appear to others. But it is more than just that. How does our self-image differ from our self-esteem? First, let’s take a look at Webster’s Dictionary on the true meaning of self-image. Websters Dictionary defines “Self-Image” as “one’s conception of oneself or one’s role.”  But is self-image different than our self-esteem? And how does each occur? What does our self-image do for us? And can we improve our self-image if we don’t like it? Self-Image, Self-Esteem and True Self are not the same, but they are all related to one…

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Men – Know The Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Fix It

Men who show signs of low self-esteem often keep it to themselves,  believing that it’s “what men do”. They have been taught to just “suck it up” and deal with it. Healthy women are more supportive of each other. Men, you can fix this!  But don’t pity yourself, guys. Less emotionally healthy women may not be as “upfront” and transparent with their female friends if they are in a competitive group. They too can be left to deal with their own sense of low self-esteem. They don’t teach much about low self-esteem in school, if at all. So here’s what you…

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Two Precious Gifts From Father To Daughter: Not What You Think!

Precious Gifts

A father is the gateway to his daughter’s future relationships with boys and eventually men or women. What are these precious gifts from father to daughter? When we think of child-rearing we often think of supporting the family through steady employment or cooking healthy meals for them. Keeping them clothed and medically cared for. We also can think beyond the basics. For example, reading them bedtime stories or having certain traditions during bath time. Or taking them on family vacations and helping them with homework. But these things are not the most important gifts: A Father’s Most Precious Gift to…

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Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Relationships – Part 2

Breaking the Cycle Part 2

In this third and final article in the series, we cover how children who have survived growing up with unhealthy parenting relationships can change their learned behaviors to better cope with life. The initial article in this series [LINK] explained how their difficulties in coping and personality result from growing up with their unhealthy family dynamics. It is how they survived. The previous article [LINK] and this article cover the positive changes that can happen with practice over time for each of the learned negative behaviors. The acronym “ACA” stands for “Adult Children of Alcoholics” and will also refer to…

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Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Relationships – Part 1

Breaking the Cycle

The previous article in this series listed the negative effects that can result in children raised by one or more unhealthy parents. These children are in danger of continuing this cycle of unhealthy relationships. They, and their children, often grow up as adults who feel “broken” – that they have something wrong or missing in them, and they do not know why. They think it must just be “ME”. On the contrary, their difficulties in coping and personality result from growing up with their unhealthy family dynamics. It is how they survived. The next two articles in this series cover…

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Adult Children of Alcoholics, Depressives or Narcissistic Parents – Part 1

Adult Children who grew up with unhealthy parenting dynamics often feel “broken” – that there is something wrong or missing in them, and they do not know why. They think it must just be “ME”. On the contrary, their difficulties in coping and personality result from growing up with their unhealthy family dynamics. It is how they survived. The two articles in this series seek to reassure those Adult Children that they are not broken. But they do need to seek help to work through the effects of that unhealthy dynamic. Part 1 identifies behaviors that may result from trying…

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The Inner Child: Whose Eyes Do You See Through?

Many believe we have left our childhood behind. But, that little boy or little girl inside us (our Inner Child) recorded early childhood experiences that have shaped our adult personality. Our “child’s brain” only allows us to interpret events emotionally. Our “adult brain” allows us to use logical, rational and reasoning capabilities. Significantly, this part of the brain does not fully develop until about 25 years of age. This means we recorded those childhood experiences literally with half a brain. The child’s brain has a limited capacity to fully and accurately understand and interpret life events. We need to realize…

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