Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Pic of Sassy Girl

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

Continue reading

11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

Continue reading

10 Reasons Why Couples Counseling is a Good Idea

Reasons for Couples Counseling

People often cringe when they consider couple’s counseling. Some people are afraid it will make things worse. Others may fear it will cause a divorce. Many fear they will not be successful at couples counseling.  But there are many reasons why couples counseling is a good idea! Reason 1: We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know  … and therein lie all of the possibilities. My favorite saying! Relationship skills are not taught in school. So how are we to know how to navigate a relationship through the ups and downs? Simple – we’re not! Unless you happen to come from…

Continue reading

When Is Couples Counseling A Good Idea?

When Is The Best Time For Couples Counseling

Great question. In my experience, couples counseling is always a good idea in committed relationships, when you hit a milestone that changes the dynamics of your partnership or you’re in crisis. Most couples in my practice believe couples counseling is a good idea when they sincerely believe they cannot achieve the partnership they want without some support. Below you’ll find the best times to seek couples counseling based on various life events, from the best to the most challenging circumstances in seeking counseling. However, any time is better than not seeking counseling at all. Best – Seek Couples Counseling Before…

Continue reading

7 Vital Reasons to Understand What He is Really Saying: Context

Relationships can be tough. Building a “context” of what your mate is really saying significantly increases emotional intimacy and closeness between the two of you. And equally important, building a context significantly lessens the disagreements couples have. We don’t always exactly mean what we say in our conversation. We open our mouth and some sentences come out. But we don’t always thoroughly think through what we are saying. Sound familiar? That’s often how arguments begin. We misunderstand the context or meaning of what the other person is trying to say. And then the downward cycling is well on its way!…

Continue reading

People With These 14 Personality Traits Are Most Likely To Have A Secure Attachment Style

If you want to feel a secure attachment in your relationship pick someone with these qualities! People with a secure attachment style approach relationships differently from those who typically form problematic relationships. Their personality traits include being confident, emotionally open and loving. The fortunate person they love will feel secure, treasured, emotionally safe and highly valued by their secure partner. I say fortunate, because in one study done by Cindy Hazan Ph.D. and Phillip Shaver Ph.D. only 56% of people reported enjoying secure relationship attachments. But in order to attract someone with these personality traits, you need to first learn…

Continue reading

Do You Still Feel Like a Child in Your Parents’ Eyes? Do This!

Parent-Child

Do your parents treat you like a child, even though you feel like an adult and have the bank account and responsibilities to prove it? Are you having more arguments with your parents over your decisions, lifestyle or values? Do you feel you are growing apart over these arguments? And then are you getting guilt trips like, “I know you are too busy with your friends to call me”. Moving the Parent-Child Relationship into Adult-Adult in the 30’s is challenging, but normal. A change occurs in the parent-child relationship when the child starts becoming an adult. For the sake of…

Continue reading

8 Signs to Know If An Independent Woman Will Make You Happy

Living with an emotionally healthy independent woman can be challenging, but you should not consider her a challenge to see if you are “man enough”. The independent woman has goals and aspirations that are very similar to yours and the challenge comes from deciding on a fair distribution of whose goals will take priority. She doesn’t need a man for protection, financial security or status. Although she is quite capable of living alone but prefers to share her life with her mate. She wants a romantic partner she can feel close to, with whom she can share her home life.…

Continue reading

Signs of An Emotionally Insecure Relationship With A Lover, Friend or Parent

Couple Fighting

In an insecure relationship the more attached we are to our “person” the more vulnerable we feel with them. When one partner pulls away the other partner most often will feel emotionally abandoned, disconnected and insecure of the bond, especially if this occurs often. Secure relationships are about having a secure emotional attachment with the other person. Our emotional attachments begin with our parents or guardian, evolve to our closest friends, and eventually lead to a romantic relationship with a partner. When we have a secure emotional attachment we feel safe, cared for, and that we can rely on “our…

Continue reading

Relationship Deal Breakers – Know Your Warning Signs & Red Flags

Relationship Deal Breakers

When counseling my clients at my LA office I use a system of Red, Orange and Yellow Flags to help them recognize varying degrees of warning signs in dating or relationships. This also is a decision-making system to recognize what you will live with and what traits become deal breakers. A Red Flag means RUN! These very dangerous characteristics are highly unlikely to ever change. Relationships are challenging enough without being doomed from the start. Orange means improvement will most likely require significant work with a therapist skilled in that particular area. You must decide if you think it can…

Continue reading