11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

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Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

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So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

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Relationship Checklist For Couples and Singles – Intro

Realtionship Checklist Intro

Great relationships that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. This relationship checklist works for both couples and singles. It identifies the needed ingredients for a healthy and enduring romantic relationship. You can find a link to a downloadable version of the Relationship Checklist at the end of the article. We naturally want a close, loving, emotionally safe relationship with someone we cherish. What goes into making a relationship successful? Relationships are a lot of work and that will never change. We want to value, respect someone with whom we want to…

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Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Pic of Sassy Girl

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

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11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

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10 Reasons Why Couples Counseling is a Good Idea

Reasons for Couples Counseling

People often cringe when they consider couple’s counseling. Some people are afraid it will make things worse. Others may fear it will cause a divorce. Many fear they will not be successful at couples counseling.  But there are many reasons why couples counseling is a good idea! Reason 1: We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know  … and therein lie all of the possibilities. My favorite saying! Relationship skills are not taught in school. So how are we to know how to navigate a relationship through the ups and downs? Simple – we’re not! Unless you happen to come from…

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When Is Couples Counseling A Good Idea?

When Is The Best Time For Couples Counseling

Great question. In my experience, couples counseling is always a good idea in committed relationships, when you hit a milestone that changes the dynamics of your partnership or you’re in crisis. Most couples in my practice believe couples counseling is a good idea when they sincerely believe they cannot achieve the partnership they want without some support. Below you’ll find the best times to seek couples counseling based on various life events, from the best to the most challenging circumstances in seeking counseling. However, any time is better than not seeking counseling at all. Best – Seek Couples Counseling Before…

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7 Vital Reasons to Understand What He is Really Saying: Context

Relationships can be tough. Building a “context” of what your mate is really saying significantly increases emotional intimacy and closeness between the two of you. And equally important, building a context significantly lessens the disagreements couples have. We don’t always exactly mean what we say in our conversation. We open our mouth and some sentences come out. But we don’t always thoroughly think through what we are saying. Sound familiar? That’s often how arguments begin. We misunderstand the context or meaning of what the other person is trying to say. And then the downward cycling is well on its way!…

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People With These 14 Personality Traits Are Most Likely To Have A Secure Attachment Style

If you want to feel a secure attachment in your relationship pick someone with these qualities! People with a secure attachment style approach relationships differently from those who typically form problematic relationships. Their personality traits include being confident, emotionally open and loving. The fortunate person they love will feel secure, treasured, emotionally safe and highly valued by their secure partner. I say fortunate, because in one study done by Cindy Hazan Ph.D. and Phillip Shaver Ph.D. only 56% of people reported enjoying secure relationship attachments. But in order to attract someone with these personality traits, you need to first learn…

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