You Are Not in Control of Your Heart – But Here is What You CAN Do!

There is no magic in finding your ” right” mate in life. It’s about believing in yourself, having a clear picture of what you want, and sticking to that. But to do that, some factors need to be in place. The reality is that you are not in control of your heart. Let’s take a look at the factors that significantly increase your ability to find your best mate.   Make Sure Your Self-Esteem is Healthy We tend to attract about the same degree of mental health in a mate as we have ourselves, like it or not. That’s how…

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How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart

Have you been betrayed by someone you truly loved? Betrayal can be one of the most hurtful things to experience in any kind of relationship. It’ breaks trust. Once that’s broken, how do you get your trust back again? Is it even possible? How do you know trying again in that relationship is even worth it, or that it can’t happen again in the future? Click below for an article I wrote for YourTango about this very issue. How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart   These other articles on my website discuss similar topics.…

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8 Personality Traits Are The Least Likely To Break Your Heart

Trustworthy Personality Traits

Relationships are vulnerable any way you look at it. But there are 8 personality traits that are more likely to lead to a healthy relationship. These traits also help you build trust in your mate and lessen the chance of heart break down the road. When we’re able to feel confident in our ability to trust “our person,” it lessens the extent of that vulnerability, making us feel more like partners in the world. Personally, I tend to trust someone until they’ve given me a reason not to, but there are definitely some specific personality traits I look for as…

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Why Do I Always Pick The Wrong Guy? (or Woman)

The Wrong Guy

Do you often feel “slimed” after leaving your date? If you feel you always pick the “wrong guy” it’s time to take an inventory.  Something is clearly going on that needs fixing. But no worries. There is a great fix for this once and for all. You need to figure out why you attract and are picking the unhealthy guys. Everything we do has a purpose behind it. Once you figure out what the attraction is really about, you can change direction. Now, in all fairness, it works both ways. This concept applies to guys picking the wrong women. It…

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11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

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Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

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So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

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Relationship Checklist For Couples and Singles – Intro

Realtionship Checklist Intro

Great relationships that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. This relationship checklist works for both couples and singles. It identifies the needed ingredients for a healthy and enduring romantic relationship. You can find a link to a downloadable version of the Relationship Checklist at the end of the article. We naturally want a close, loving, emotionally safe relationship with someone we cherish. What goes into making a relationship successful? Relationships are a lot of work and that will never change. We want to value, respect someone with whom we want to…

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Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Pic of Sassy Girl

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

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11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

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