Self-Blame is Toxic and Unhelpful…But It’s Fixable!

Self-Blame is Toxic

We all experience “self-blaming” at times. But because self-blame is toxic, it means we are devaluing ourselves and denying the humanness in us all. I am well versed in this subject because even though I am a trained and licensed psychotherapist, I will still do this from time to time. When I experience self-blame, I know this is coming from the little girl inside that didn’t know any better in growing up. I never understood that we are all human and infallible. We all make mistakes along the way in life. Here is how easily we pick up this damaging…

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Take Control of This New Year! Here’s How to Make it Work For YOU!

Take Control Of This New Year

When you truly take control of this New Year, things don’t just magically happen. They happen because you are doing those things that really work for you and make you happy. It means you put the work into your life to make positive changes. Making these changes means you value and believe in yourself. This isn’t just “Hype.” This really works! Here’s what you need to do:   Identify What Isn’t Working For You and Makes You Unhappy To make changes that truly impact your current life experiences, you need first to identify what works and what is not working for…

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Don’t Be Stuck in Your Life – Try Creating a Flow Instead

Creating A Flow

When we’re creating a flow in our life we actually use up less “heartbeats” as I call it. By this, I mean learning to panic less and instead, to create a belief in ourselves that we can figure things out.  And yes, this is possible to do, and it works! What is a Flow and What Does it Look Like? When we are creating a flow in our life we let go of unhealthy expectations that don’t work for us. We build trust in ourselves that we will get through difficult times. It’s the acceptance that we won’t always have…

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Accepting a Reality I Don’t Want – How To Make it Work For Me

Accepting Reality

Accepting our reality in a given situation doesn’t mean we are forced to “like it”. We almost always have a choice.  In life, we may be forced to accept a given situation that is out of our control. When that happens we have a choice to “accept what is” or to fight against the tide. But even if we fight, we may not get what we want in the end.   Accepting Reality Where We Have Some Control to Make a Result Work in Our Favor Sometimes, rather than being fired, we are given a choice to quit a job…

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Dealing With A COVID-19 Thanksgiving – How To Make It Work

COVID-19 Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving holiday is like no other, at least not in most people’s generation. But you can still make this COVID-19 Thanksgiving Holiday work for you. It won’t always be this way. Eventually, we will return to our more normal life again. It’s really important to grab hold of the reality of this situation but to still find a way to make it better for you. It’s about accepting “what is” our current reality. The unknown can be scary because we don’t know what the outcome will be. We don’t know how to stop an illness we are experiencing for…

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Beware! A Lack of Healthy Boundaries is a Slippery Slope!

Ever feel people run over you? Or your feelings don’t matter to others? Most likely you are not setting healthy boundaries with those around you. Without boundaries, you are telling others that your needs don’t matter. You give people a welcome chance to walk over you. You become a human “welcome mat! But don’t blame yourself totally. They don’t teach this in school, so how are you to know? But now that you do know about it, you can take steps to fix this starting now. First, let’s identify what a lack of healthy boundaries looks like. At the very…

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Depression and Surviving the Unknown With Covid-19 Pandemic

Depression and the Unknwn

The Great Depression and Stock Market Crash of 1929, the World Wars, and the Cuban Crisis all had “the unknown” in common. Depression and surviving the “unknown” is what we are all experiencing currently. How do we know we will be “OK” in the end?  Even though we are hearing great possibilities of new drugs for Covid-19, no one knows how well they will be effective, if at all. Who will get Covid-19? How is it truly transmitted from one person to another? Some people are wearing masks as recommended by the Center for Disease Control (CDC). Yet others are…

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Feeling Alone, Isolated, or Invisible? Here’s What You Can Do Today!

Feeling Alone

Covid-19 pandemic has set a new social experience for most people. Feeling alone,  isolated, or invisible are all normal for this time in our lives. Remember, there was no dress rehearsal for Covid-19. It’s an abnormal situation in our current lives. Many people on their own are feeling alone but are uncomfortable reaching out to others, or they choose instead to isolate even more and just “go inside” themselves.  And some people choose to override possible contamination from Covid-19 and seek company anyway. Some create “safe” contact, and others may choose to override the recommendations for social distancing with friends.…

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What Did You Learn About Yourself from COVID-19?

Child Studying

You have a perfect opportunity at your feet. Whenever life circumstances present themselves, you often learn about yourself and how you operate in different situations. COVID-19 is a great example. As our life goes on, we often take for granted our routine, friends, work, and often even our romantic relationships. It becomes automatic, and we don’t think about it much. That’s normal. But when there is a change in our circumstances, such as COVID-19, things that were “normal” for us can easily change. Sometimes the change involves loss. However, change also comes an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and…

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How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart

Negative Effects of Poor Self-esteem

Have you been betrayed by someone you truly loved? Betrayal can be one of the most hurtful things to experience in any kind of relationship. It’ breaks trust. Once that’s broken, how do you get your trust back again? Is it even possible? How do you know trying again in that relationship is even worth it, or that it can’t happen again in the future? Click below for an article I wrote for YourTango about this very issue. How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart   These other articles on my website discuss similar topics.…

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