Living The Life You Love

Susan reflects on how you can design your life to live the life you love. The articles below may help your current situation or you can suggest an article or get help by contacting Susan Saint-Welch HERE. She does not provide psychotherapy by email or outside California.

Personalized Interpretation of Dreams – You Are Your Best Expert!

Dreams Interpretation

We all dream as we sleep. Some of our dreams help us work out the more important issues or events in our life that cause us feelings of stress, worry, joy, or fear that we do not recognize during the day. Sometimes we remember the dreams and sometimes we don’t. But the feelings during the dream are always present whether we remember them or not. You can use these feelings to understand how your dreams try to help you deal with your life issues. These feelings may lead to a more valid interpretation than any generalized book of dream interpretation…

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What Do My Dreams Mean? Dream Interpretation Made Simple.

We all dream, whether we are aware of them or not – whether we remember them or not. Dreams help our mind deal with experiences that usually have occurred within the last couple of days. When we let our guard down in our sleep, the subconscious mind helps us process our experiences to understand them and to understand ourselves. Why This Is Important Dreams connect the subconscious mind and the conscious mind to help us understand ourselves more fully. The more we understand how we think and interpret our experiences the more aware we become of what works for us…

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Surviving Valentine’s Day Pressure In a Relationship, Or Single

Valentines Day means many different things to people. For some it signifies the love they feel for their mate. Others (whether they have a mate or not) see Valentines Day as a sham by the retail industry to milk that day for all its worth. Some people avoid it like the plague, even to the point of not going to work that day. Some romantics have high expectations of their mate, even expecting them to top last year’s thoughtfulness. I hear this more from women than men. And from men I will hear the pressure they silently feel to meet…

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You Must See The Whole Person. You Can’t Just Pick The Values You Like

See Whole Person

Wouldn’t it be a perfect relationship world if we could love someone without seeing the “the bad and the ugly” in them and just focus on their good values? Well, some people do this everyday, but unfortunately we live with all the parts, and are affected by all the parts. No one is perfect and we live with their imperfections, just as we live with our own. The important factor is knowing the difference between the values we can truly live with and what we cannot. Why We Can’t Pick and Choose What to See in a Person Have you…

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Make Your Decisions Out Of Desire- Not Fear Or Avoidance

We make hundreds of decisions a day, of which most are unconscious. What to eat, what to wear, when to leave for work, which lane to drive in, which calls we take and which calls we let go to voicemail. Even where we focus our eyes. Making Conscious Decisions We make some decisions more consciously. When we need to end a relationship. Who to date. Even more importantly, who to marry. Whether or not to have children is a very difficult decision for some people. Most of these decisions come from desire. Making Decisions From A Fear of a Negative…

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Find And Fill That Emotional Hole in Your Heart

Emotional Hole

In “Havana”, Camila Cabello sings of longing for her home after she lets a guy take her away to East Atlanta. This is a great example of an emotional hole inside our heart, or inside what I call our core being. This feeling will not go away unless we fill that emptiness, or at least fully resolve not having it and find fulfillment in another way. Most everyone has felt a deep emotional hole inside for one reason or another.  It can come from a variety of reasons, but they all have in common an absence or loss of something…

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Single Lifestyle Most of Your Life. How Do You Make Room For a Mate?

For whatever reason – career, lifestyle choices or past breakup – you are living a single lifestyle. You don’t have to make room for someone else. Your decisions are your own. No one else to consider. Your needs for more “Me Time” are irrelevant. How you spend your money doesn’t involve the consideration of others as much. What you eat or where you eat doesn’t matter. How you spend your leisure time does not necessarily involve the decision-making of someone else. You may fully enjoy this single lifestyle, or it came out of your life choices or circumstances. You have…

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The Bullseye Exercise: Make Decisions Based Upon the Person’s Value to You

Too often we feel pressure to do something because someone is “counting on us”, but we really don’t want to do it. The Bullseye Exercise helps to make that decision by identifying the degree of value we attribute to a particular relationship. In using the Bullseye to make these decisions, the farther away a person is from the center, the less we go out of our way for them. We put less energy into the relationship, and do not work as hard to work out disagreements. We put less energy into pleasing them. Conversely, the closer to the bullseye, the…

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Relationship Pillar #4: TIME reveals a mate’s true nature

TIME, Relationship Pillar #4, is often the most challenging one. TIME refers to consistently practicing each of the three preceding pillars for at least 6 months. After 6 months of regular and sustained interaction you can be fairly certain you have witnessed the full range of behaviors in your potential partner. You can then rationally evaluate whether this is the person for you. To recap – If you have no agenda, have eyes are open and willing to see, and you are practicing the various skills and concepts relating to relationships (the 1st three Pillars) for 6 months or more,…

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Relationship Pillar #3: Concepts & Skills To Navigate Situations

Concepts and skills are vital to successfully navigating any relationship. People don’t know what they don’t know, so they often interpret situations blindly. Concepts help us to understand what is going on. You have to know what you are looking at and experiencing first, before you can navigate the situation. Skills are the things we can do to deal with the situation in a way that makes us feel better or more clear regarding what we are seeing. Then our choices come out of these two processes. When we understand something more clearly we feel more in control. We know…

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