Improving Self Image

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A healthy self-image is fluid. Over the course of a lifetime, it can have a ripple effect on our relationships, the decisions we make and the life we live.
The articles below may help your current situation or you can suggest an article or get help by contacting Susan Saint-Welch HERE. She does not provide psychotherapy by email or outside California.


Don’t Like Who You’re Dating? Fix Your Self-Esteem!

Not Liking Who You Are Dating

Have you ever taken an inventory of who you’ve dated? If you’re not liking who you’re dating, chances are it’s your self-esteem. The reality is that we tend to date the same degree of self-esteem that we believe we have.  No worries though. Your self-esteem is very fixable. It takes some work, but the positive changes you make, especially in your dating practices will be well worth it.   What is Self-Esteem? Self-Esteem is the degree to which we value ourselves. The more we value ourselves, the higher degree is our self-esteem.  This doesn’t mean being “cocky”.  People who truly…

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Raising Your Self-Esteem Through Healthy Friends

Raise Self-Esteem Through Friends

Raising your self-esteem can’t be done without looking at the friends around you. These friends have one of the biggest impacts on the degree of our self-valuing. Let’s take a look at why this is so important.   What is Self-Esteem? Webster’s Dictionary defines self-esteem as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself: SELF-RESPECT”. However, today it’s often used in a more generic manner of how we feel about ourselves, positively or negatively in degrees.   Why is Raising Your Self-Esteem So Important? The degree you value yourself is the degree of self-esteem you operate from with yourself and others. For…

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The ABC’s of Improving Your Self-Esteem Now! (Updated)

Would my self-esteem be different if I could draw?

(This article on improving your self-esteem updates one of the first articles I wrote a few years ago.) You can begin improving your Self-Esteem as an adult now! As children, we rely on others to define our worth by giving us clues about how they experience us. But as an adult, you have logical, rational, and reasoning capabilities to determine what is true for you. You can use these skills now to create more positive and accurate self-esteem that may have been damaged or stunted in childhood. Here are some steps on improving your Self- Esteem as an adult:  …

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7 Negative Effects of Poor Self-Esteem

Negative Effects of Poor Self-esteem

There is a reason you may struggle in life with the negative effects of poor self-esteem. If you look at the people in your life you will begin to notice some have healthier relationships than others. This is not by chance but absolutely relates to the degree of healthy self-esteem in both you and them. The good news is that it’s not your fault and it is fixable. The “not-so-good-news” is that it takes a lot of work, and most likely also the help of a professional who is trained in this area.  For starters, let ‘s take a look…

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How to Overcome Regrets and Move On With Your Life

Overcome Regrets

Everyone wants to overcome regrets. What matters most is if you learn from them and move on in your life. Then, your regrets have meaning in constructive ways, rather than haunting you over time.    How to Overcome Regrets and Resentments in Life (for good) Many people hang on to their regrets because they don’t know how to let go of them. How can you just “stop” thinking about regretful times of the past?  At the beginning of letting go, those haunting thoughts may come up more than you like, but that is normal.  As you get to “acceptance” of…

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So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

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Dare to Show Your Best Self in Your Dating Profile – Be the Real You!

Pic of Sassy Girl

Are you tempted to “enhance” your dating profile? The better strategy is to present your best Self in dating.  Wow! What a concept! Being yourself sounds so normal, why wouldn’t you want to do this? I can speak to this personally from my past dating disasters.  What feels like a hundred years ago, and for many years, I was another person when I dated. I was quiet, not funny, more serious, not very playful, and worst of all, very unassertive. Why would I be someone other than I am? That’s easy! I wanted to be married and to have kids.…

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How Self-Esteem Affects Dating, Choice of a Mate and Our Relationship

How Self Esteem Affects Dating

Self-Esteem affects dating in a very basic way: The healthier self-esteem we have, the healthier mate we will attract. More importantly, the better we feel about ourselves, the healthier our relationship can be because we choose a mate with about the same degree of self-esteem as ours. We are more likely to choose well when we are emotionally healthy. Relationships are a lot of work, therefore, the healthier we and our mate are, the easier we can function in the relationship. This means we can grow and enjoy each other in healthy ways over time.  What Self-Esteem Looks Like in…

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What Defines Success In Life?

What Defines Success

How we define success in life determines our level of happiness and meaning. Success in life has been defined in a variety of ways. I don’t see this as being confusing. Rather, I believe the meaning of success comes from each person who ultimately defines this for themselves. Why Is Defining Success Important? To be successful you need to define what that would look like for you. People often search for purpose in life to give their existence in the world meaning. Often people will seek “success” to have meaning in their life. But who defines success in life? There…

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What is the Difference Between Self-Image and Self-Esteem?

Self-Esteem vs Self-Image

Deepak Chopra clarifies the difference between Self-Image and Self-Esteem: “Do not confuse your image with your Self — your self-image is what other people think of you, and your Self (esteem) is what you think of you.”  He has also stated that self-image is how we want others to see us. Either way, our self-esteem is more internal and our self-image is projected outwardly. Let’s take a deeper look into the difference between self-image and self-esteem and how each affects our life.   The Difference Between Self-Image and Self-Esteem Ever feel uncomfortable in a room filled with people you don’t…

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