Improving Self Image

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A healthy self-image is fluid. Over the course of a lifetime, it can have a ripple effect on our relationships, the decisions we make and the life we live.
The articles below may help your current situation or you can suggest an article or get help by contacting Susan Saint-Welch HERE. She does not provide psychotherapy by email or outside California.


Why Is Healthy Self-Esteem So Vital In Dating And Relationships?

Families and schools most always don’t teach how to have healthy self-esteem. So how are you to know how to have a healthy view of yourself? Why is this so important in dating and choosing a mate one day? Can your self-esteem improve when you’re already in a permanent relationship? And is healthy self-esteem necessary to have a good romantic relationship and marriage? Let’s take a look at these questions and more.   What Does Healthy Self-Esteem Look Like? First, let’s start with some examples of how our self-esteem can be healthy or unhealthy. Here are some of the qualities…

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Taking Our Childhood Experiences into Adulthood With Negative Effects

Childhood Experiences Into Adulthood

Our negative childhood experiences shape who we are: But you can fix it now!  Some people are fortunate to have parents that are active, caring, and supportive. Perhaps they also demonstrate they believe in their kids to move forward in life, thriving. However, some parents did not know how to guide their children because they had no guidance in their childhood.  Those children who were supported, valued, and felt loved by their parents find it easier to move forward in life because they likely believe in themselves. With their parent’s love and support, these individuals believe they deserve to be…

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Self-Blame is Toxic and Unhelpful…But It’s Fixable!

Self-Blame is Toxic

We all experience “self-blaming” at times. But because self-blame is toxic, it means we are devaluing ourselves and denying the humanness in us all. I am well versed in this subject because even though I am a trained and licensed psychotherapist, I will still do this from time to time. When I experience self-blame, I know this is coming from the little girl inside that didn’t know any better in growing up. I never understood that we are all human and infallible. We all make mistakes along the way in life. Here is how easily we pick up this damaging…

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Unsure of The Real You? Unlock Your True Identity!

Unlocking your true identity means valuing yourself, standing up for what you believe, and asking for what you want. It’s not about being selfish. Furthermore, it’s about truly knowing yourself and demonstrating this in your life and in your decision-making… Living a healthy life that truly fits who you are, and makes you happy. However, as I often say in my articles, these things are not taught in school. So how are we to know how important this concept is, and what happens when we don’t value ourselves? Or even how we get there? First, let’s take a look at…

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Don’t Like Who You’re Dating? Fix Your Self-Esteem!

Not Liking Who You Are Dating

Have you ever taken an inventory of who you’ve dated? If you’re not liking who you’re dating, chances are it’s your self-esteem. The reality is that we tend to date the same degree of self-esteem that we believe we have.  No worries though. Your self-esteem is very fixable. It takes some work, but the positive changes you make, especially in your dating practices will be well worth it.   What is Self-Esteem? Self-Esteem is the degree to which we value ourselves. The more we value ourselves, the higher degree is our self-esteem.  This doesn’t mean being “cocky”.  People who truly…

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Raising Your Self-Esteem Through Healthy Friends

Raise Self-Esteem Through Friends

Raising your self-esteem can’t be done without looking at the friends around you. These friends have one of the biggest impacts on the degree of our self-valuing. Let’s take a look at why this is so important.   What is Self-Esteem? Webster’s Dictionary defines self-esteem as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself: SELF-RESPECT”. However, today it’s often used in a more generic manner of how we feel about ourselves, positively or negatively in degrees.   Why is Raising Your Self-Esteem So Important? The degree you value yourself is the degree of self-esteem you operate from with yourself and others. For…

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The ABC’s of Improving Your Self-Esteem Now! (Updated)

Would my self-esteem be different if I could draw?

(This article on improving your self-esteem updates one of the first articles I wrote a few years ago.) You can begin improving your Self-Esteem as an adult now! As children, we rely on others to define our worth by giving us clues about how they experience us. But as an adult, you have logical, rational, and reasoning capabilities to determine what is true for you. You can use these skills now to create more positive and accurate self-esteem that may have been damaged or stunted in childhood. Here are some steps on improving your Self- Esteem as an adult:  …

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7 Negative Effects of Poor Self-Esteem

Negative Effects of Poor Self-esteem

There is a reason you may struggle in life with the negative effects of poor self-esteem. If you look at the people in your life you will begin to notice some have healthier relationships than others. This is not by chance but absolutely relates to the degree of healthy self-esteem in both you and them. The good news is that it’s not your fault and it is fixable. The “not-so-good-news” is that it takes a lot of work, and most likely also the help of a professional who is trained in this area.  For starters, let ‘s take a look…

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How to Overcome Regrets and Move On With Your Life

Overcome Regrets

Everyone wants to overcome regrets. What matters most is if you learn from them and move on in your life. Then, your regrets have meaning in constructive ways, rather than haunting you over time.    How to Overcome Regrets and Resentments in Life (for good) Many people hang on to their regrets because they don’t know how to let go of them. How can you just “stop” thinking about regretful times of the past?  At the beginning of letting go, those haunting thoughts may come up more than you like, but that is normal.  As you get to “acceptance” of…

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So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

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