Dating and Relationships

Self-Esteem & DatingDating is hard. Keeping a relationship is harder. The keys to both dating and relationships are knowing yourself, knowing what you want, expressing your needs, listening to the needs of your (future) partner, and working out some sort of compromise. The articles below may help your current situation or you can suggest an article by contacting Susan Saint-Welch HERE. Please see the sidebar to the right to discuss if coaching or psychotherapy is appropriate for you.

How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart

Have you been betrayed by someone you truly loved? Betrayal can be one of the most hurtful things to experience in any kind of relationship. It’ breaks trust. Once that’s broken, how do you get your trust back again? Is it even possible? How do you know trying again in that relationship is even worth it, or that it can’t happen again in the future? Click below for an article I wrote for YourTango about this very issue. How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart   These other articles on my website discuss similar topics.…

Continue reading

8 Personality Traits Are The Least Likely To Break Your Heart

Trustworthy Personality Traits

Relationships are vulnerable any way you look at it. But there are 8 personality traits that are more likely to lead to a healthy relationship. These traits also help you build trust in your mate and lessen the chance of heart break down the road. When we’re able to feel confident in our ability to trust “our person,” it lessens the extent of that vulnerability, making us feel more like partners in the world. Personally, I tend to trust someone until they’ve given me a reason not to, but there are definitely some specific personality traits I look for as…

Continue reading

Why Do I Always Pick The Wrong Guy? (or Woman)

The Wrong Guy

Do you often feel “slimed” after leaving your date? If you feel you always pick the “wrong guy” it’s time to take an inventory.  Something is clearly going on that needs fixing. But no worries. There is a great fix for this once and for all. You need to figure out why you attract and are picking the unhealthy guys. Everything we do has a purpose behind it. Once you figure out what the attraction is really about, you can change direction. Now, in all fairness, it works both ways. This concept applies to guys picking the wrong women. It…

Continue reading

Effective Ways of Building Trust in Someone and Also Yourself

Building Trust

Romantic relationships are the most vulnerable relationships we have. Our heart does what it wants, whether it’s good for us or not. This is why building trust in someone is essential if you want to feel less vulnerable.   However, romantic relationships are not alone in causing a vulnerability. Children are very vulnerable because they don’t even know about trust and how to build it. They don’t get to pick their parents. Therefore, they must find their own way to feel emotionally safe and secure, kind of in the “dark”. We’ll discuss this further when it comes to Self-Esteem in this…

Continue reading

11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

Continue reading

Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

Continue reading

So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

Continue reading

Relationship Checklist For Couples and Singles – Intro

Realtionship Checklist Intro

Great relationships that endure over time have common behaviors and values that create a healthy and nourishing bond. This relationship checklist works for both couples and singles. It identifies the needed ingredients for a healthy and enduring romantic relationship. You can find a link to a downloadable version of the Relationship Checklist at the end of the article. We naturally want a close, loving, emotionally safe relationship with someone we cherish. What goes into making a relationship successful? Relationships are a lot of work and that will never change. We want to value, respect someone with whom we want to…

Continue reading

How Self-Esteem Affects Dating, Choice of a Mate and Our Relationship

How Self Esteem Affects Dating

Self-Esteem affects dating in a very basic way: The healthier self-esteem we have, the healthier mate we will attract. More importantly, the better we feel about ourselves, the healthier our relationship can be because we choose a mate with about the same degree of self-esteem as ours. We are more likely to choose well when we are emotionally healthy. Relationships are a lot of work, therefore, the healthier we and our mate are, the easier we can function in the relationship. This means we can grow and enjoy each other in healthy ways over time.  What Self-Esteem Looks Like in…

Continue reading

11 Signs to Find The Right Mate For a Successful Relationship

Find the Rt Mate

Finding the right mate for a successful relationship requires knowing and valuing yourself first, and what you want. We tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in our mate as what we have in ourselves. It’s not a guessing game If you know what you want and also have those same qualities. I am not saying that you two need to be the same person. However, you need to have a lot in common to share a life together. Here are some guidelines to determine what you want and if your guy or girl is the right one. 1.…

Continue reading