Susan Saint-Welch LMFT has counseled couples and individuals for many years on issues such as dating, marriage, family drama, coping with difficult times, improving self-image and living the life you love. She provides psychotherapy for clients in California and Dating, Couples and Life Coaching for clients outside California through secure video conferencing. She has published numerous articles regarding these issues on her website, on YourTango.com and on MSN.com.

Coping With the Holidays in 2021

Coping With the Holidays in 2021

Once again the holidays are here. Coping with the holidays isn’t always the same for everyone. For some, it can be joyful, but for others, the holidays can be quite challenging.  Many people feel that just literally “getting through the holidays” in one piece is a challenge. Other people may feel alone or isolated from others. For some, it could be a time of loss and they are grieving. And especially common is the challenge of money issues and general pressures in this season.  Holidays are different for a lot of people. What matters most is that you find a…

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How to Argue With Your Mate and Stay Connected

Argue with your mate

What happens when you argue with your mate? Do you quickly end the conversation and walk away? Does one partner yell and scream or belittle the other?  Someone ends up sleeping on the couch that night? Do your issues end up unresolved? See how to fix this dilemma.  Remember, they don’t teach this in school, so how are you to know what works? There are positive solutions that may help your relationship before you give up.   Why Most People Avoid Talking Things Out A lot of negative things can happen very quickly when two people disagree with each other.…

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What Stops You From Improving Your Self-Esteem?

You may have read articles about what stops you from improving your self-esteem. But if nothing is changing for the better, then something is likely in the way. Why is your self-esteem not getting any better? Is it because it truly can’t? Or is this as good as your self-esteem will ever be? You’re afraid it can’t improve? If this resonates for you, you are not alone. When we want something really important to us, it’s easy to have doubts about it ever-improving. But why is that? Let’s take a look at why this dynamic may be so common.  …

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How to Manage Differences With Your Mate

By now you have probably experienced a variety of dating choices, all while trying to manage differences between you both. You found some good potential partners and a lot of “bad options” along the way as well. Those experiences were part of your path in finding “the right mate”. Yes, it’s really important to have some good similarities between you both. But you will also have a lot of differences as well. After all, it would be boring if you both were 100% the same, right? The answer is RIGHT! Let’s take a look at why differentness is just as…

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What is Healthy Self-Esteem and How Do I Get It?

Get Healthy Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is essential for many reasons. For example, it relates to valuing ourselves, aspiring for challenges, having emotionally healthy friends and mates, and more.  Physical and emotional health allows us to live a life filled with joy and fun experiences. Let’s look at healthy versus unhealthy self-esteem and some of the differences that come from those dynamics. We’ll also explore how to have healthy self-esteem and to attract other healthy people as well. The American Psychological Association defines self-esteem as “the degree to which the qualities and characteristics contained in one’s self-concept are perceived to be positive.” American Psychological…

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What a Healthy Relationship Looks and Feels Like and The Fix

Relationships are tricky. How do people even know what a healthy relationship looks and feels like? Remember, in relationships, we most often pick someone different from us. Both people can sometimes feel vulnerable in the relationship. Other times one partner is sure of the relationship being strong and the mate doesn’t feel the same way. It can be common for the couple to individually be in their own timing of what they want in the relationship. They may have different expectations of each other. Remember how vulnerable you sometimes feel in a relationship? Before we dive into what healthy relationships…

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Choose A Psychotherapist That Fits You! The How-To!

Choose the right psychotherapist

Trying to choose a psychotherapist that fits you can feel challenging, but that feeling is normal. Beginning psychotherapy, if you’ve never done that before, can also be a bit daunting. First of all, you don’t know what it’s going to be like. You don’t know if it will work for you or if you feel it’s a good match with the therapist. What if you find out you’ve been doing things the hard way or ineffectively? You are in good company if this rings a bell for you.  No worries. Here are some tips for finding the right therapist. I…

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How to Find your True & Positive Self and Get Past Negative Experiences

Get Past Negative Experiences

We all come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences (good and bad), and lessons we learned along the way. But often on this path, we find that we may focus on our faults rather than find our true and positive self. Even though you may have had a rough childhood, or had to move around a lot as a child, you always had value. You just may have not been shown that in growing up. Or sometimes, parents can be nurturing but our school experiences wipe out the positive experiences at home. After all, how many of us believed that…

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Thinking of Dating Someone New During Covid-19? The How-To:

Ahh, this is a crazy time for everyone right now.  If you’re thinking of dating someone new during Covid-19, there are some practical tips to know before the first date.  If you read the literature on Covid-19, you will see that it can be tricky to maintain safe dating. However, you don’t have to give up dating right now if you do it safely! Let’s see how that would work. Let’s begin by talking about what could happen if you don’t date in safe ways these days. Dating Someone New During Covid-19 What Do Safe Dating Practices look Like These…

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Part Two: Improving Your Self-Esteem In a Relationship

In Part One, we discussed why self-esteem is so important, especially healthy self-esteem. Next, we’ll talk about improving your self-esteem in a relationship. First, let’s take a closer look to fully understand how you got low self-esteem and how you can improve your view of Self.  Why Do I Have Low Self-Esteem? How Did I Get it? There are lots of ways this occurs: The most significant part of creating healthy self-esteem is understanding why you feel “less than” others deep down inside yourself. For some, if they look back in time, they will remember instances of parents blaming them…

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