If you want to feel a secure attachment in your relationship pick someone with these qualities!
People with a secure attachment style approach relationships differently from those who typically form problematic relationships. Their personality traits include being confident, emotionally open and loving. The fortunate person they love will feel secure, treasured, emotionally safe and highly valued by their secure partner. I say fortunate, because in one study done by Cindy Hazan Ph.D. and Phillip Shaver Ph.D. only 56% of people reported enjoying secure relationship attachments.
But in order to attract someone with these personality traits, you need to first learn and cultivate these qualities in yourself. Emotionally healthy people tend to attract a partner and friends with the same degree of self-esteem and level of emotional health that they have themselves.
Few people are fortunate enough to have grown up with parents who somehow already knew how to create emotionally secure attachments in their child. After all, parenting styles are usually passed down from generation to generation. This is not taught in school. But no worries! There are also those individuals who learned the skills over time or with professional guidance. So don’t give up if you don’t have these personality traits built in. You can learn and cultivate these personality traits by observing healthy people, practicing the skills in your relationships over time, and especially connecting with a therapist or relationship coach who can teach you the skills.
Look for these personality traits to identify potential candidates for your secure relationship attachment. Some of these traits are not immediately obvious but will be revealed as you develop the relationship over time.
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This article was originally published on YourTango.com where I am now an Expert Contributor.
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