How Much “Me Time” Do You Need? How Does This Fit with Date Time and Family Time?

Parents often feel guilty having me time or even date night we time. They feel they don’t spend enough time with their kids as it is. Or they also report missing their kids so they don’t want to give that time away for “me time” or even date night. Then I also have parents that see family time as the same as date night. Date night is between husband and wife, not the kids. So how do you maintain a healthy balance between me time, we time and family time? Let’s discuss the importance of each element and what each does for…

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Single Lifestyle Most of Your Life. How Do You Make Room For a Mate?

For whatever reason – career, lifestyle choices or past breakup – you are living a single lifestyle. You don’t have to make room for someone else. Your decisions are your own. No one else to consider. Your needs for more “Me Time” are irrelevant. How you spend your money doesn’t involve the consideration of others as much. What you eat or where you eat doesn’t matter. How you spend your leisure time does not necessarily involve the decision-making of someone else. You may fully enjoy this single lifestyle, or it came out of your life choices or circumstances. You have…

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Relationship Pillar #4: TIME reveals a mate’s true nature

TIME, Relationship Pillar #4, is often the most challenging one. TIME refers to consistently practicing each of the three preceding pillars for at least 6 months. After 6 months of regular and sustained interaction you can be fairly certain you have witnessed the full range of behaviors in your potential partner. You can then rationally evaluate whether this is the person for you. To recap – If you have no agenda, have eyes are open and willing to see, and you are practicing the various skills and concepts relating to relationships (the 1st three Pillars) for 6 months or more,…

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Relationship Pillar #3: Concepts & Skills To Navigate Situations

Concepts and skills are vital to successfully navigating any relationship. People don’t know what they don’t know, so they often interpret situations blindly. Concepts help us to understand what is going on. You have to know what you are looking at and experiencing first, before you can navigate the situation. Skills are the things we can do to deal with the situation in a way that makes us feel better or more clear regarding what we are seeing. Then our choices come out of these two processes. When we understand something more clearly we feel more in control. We know…

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Relationship Pillar #2: Eyes Open and Willing to See the Truth

If we close our eyes it doesn’t mean the situation “magically” changes or doesn’t exist. We need to have our eyes open – Open and Willing to See “What Is” – for us to make changes that do not work for us. I have heard numerous times from people that some negative behavior in their mate just “suddenly” appeared out of the blue. The reality is either: They did not recognize or understand what they were experiencing in the other person. Or They chose to ignore it with the hope of it going “away” over time; that it was just…

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Relationship Pillar #1: No Agenda – No Belief It MUST Be A Certain Way

What is an Agenda? An agenda is a belief that we keep because it serves a purpose. We believe it “must be” this way for us to be “OK” or to get what we want. For example, we believe that if we are 30 years old, female and not in a committed relationship we are doomed to be single the rest of our life. Or we believe that if we choose to not have children we will be judged as “selfish”. Or if we are the first and only couple to be divorced in our family we will be seen…

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The Four Pillars Of Dating And Relationships

We have all heard the horror stories from all of the dates gone so wrong. We have most likely experienced some of those horror stories ourselves. For example, being set up by friends who just “know” the right person for you. Or sitting across the table just staring at each other, with not a lot to say. Or the date “suddenly” gets a call and “has” to take off and apologizes. Where do we learn about dating? Our friends? Our family members? Just from our own experiences? If you are a “conscious” person who is always learning about yourself and…

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Create a Must Have List to Recognize Mr/Ms Right

The last blog discussed how you have to first know yourself well before you can recognize the “right” person for you in a romantic relationship. I hope you have taken the time to begin to think about those qualities that fit you. These qualities become the “air” you breathe when you are with that special person day in and day out. What do you need to experience in the other person to be a good match? Most people know what doesn’t work for them in a relationship but haven’t thought as much or clearly about the positive qualities they need…

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Dating 101: Know Yourself First To Recognize Mr/Ms Right

If you don’t know yourself, how can you know who you should be dating? Many relationships go wrong because the people are not a match for each other – they are unable to recognize when something is not good for them. Healthy relationships are more likely when each person knows themselves well – they know what makes them happy, what works for them, what fills their heart and makes them feel valued and loved. These individuals know what good communication feels like in a relationship. They enjoy doing many of the same things. They manage money issues together. These people…

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Relationship Checklist – Part 2

In Part 2 of the Relationship Checklist, we continue discussing the factors that contribute to a secure and lasting romantic relationship. These same principles can be modified to apply to ANY relationship – family, friends, co-workers, neighbors. I will come back to this in future articles. 6. Feeling Like a Team: being on the same page together in terms of both daily activities and common goals. Does not come out of power or control You have my best interest at heart and I have yours Examples: helping one parent pick up the kids for soccer games…..helping get tasks done……helping with…

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