Dating and Relationships

Self-Esteem & DatingDating is hard. Keeping a relationship is harder. The keys to both dating and relationships are knowing yourself, knowing what you want, expressing your needs, listening to the needs of your (future) partner, and working out some sort of compromise. The articles below may help your current situation or you can suggest an article by contacting Susan Saint-Welch HERE. Please see the sidebar to the right to discuss if coaching or psychotherapy is appropriate for you.

Why Speaking Each Other’s Love Language is a Must

Love Languages

Without speaking each other’s Love Language it’s often difficult to really feel loved. Without hitting the right love language of each other, the feeling of love is “just a known thing” at best. It becomes just what someone “says” but you don’t feel it, even though they are being genuine. I know this may sound kind of harsh, but let me explain why I believe this concept to be true. To do this, I need to talk about what I mean by ”love languages”. If you haven’t heard of the book called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then…

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6 Common Mistakes in Dating You Must Know and Fix Now!

Common Mistakes In Dating

We all have our dating horror stories about those common mistakes in dating experiences and mates we’ve had. That’s human and excusable ……to a degree. If we don’t learn from these experiences, then that’s on us. Below are some of the most common mistakes people make in dating choices and mates. If any of these ring a bell for you, or make you feel nauseous, then your mind and body are telling you that you need to pay close attention to these items below.   1. Being in the Dark About What You Want in a Relationship You might be…

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You Are Not in Control of Your Heart – But Here is What You CAN Do!

There is no magic in finding your ” right” mate in life. It’s about believing in yourself, having a clear picture of what you want, and sticking to that. But to do that, some factors need to be in place. The reality is that you are not in control of your heart. Let’s take a look at the factors that significantly increase your ability to find your best mate.   Make Sure Your Self-Esteem is Healthy We tend to attract about the same degree of mental health in a mate as we have ourselves, like it or not. That’s how…

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How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart

Negative Effects of Poor Self-esteem

Have you been betrayed by someone you truly loved? Betrayal can be one of the most hurtful things to experience in any kind of relationship. It’ breaks trust. Once that’s broken, how do you get your trust back again? Is it even possible? How do you know trying again in that relationship is even worth it, or that it can’t happen again in the future? Click below for an article I wrote for YourTango about this very issue. How To Trust Someone Again After They’ve Betrayed You & Broken Your Heart   These other articles on my website discuss similar topics.…

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8 Personality Traits Are The Least Likely To Break Your Heart

Trustworthy Personality Traits

Relationships are vulnerable any way you look at it. But there are 8 personality traits that are more likely to lead to a healthy relationship. These traits also help you build trust in your mate and lessen the chance of heart break down the road. When we’re able to feel confident in our ability to trust “our person,” it lessens the extent of that vulnerability, making us feel more like partners in the world. Personally, I tend to trust someone until they’ve given me a reason not to, but there are definitely some specific personality traits I look for as…

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Why Do I Always Pick The Wrong Guy? (or Woman)

The Wrong Guy

Do you often feel “slimed” after leaving your date? If you feel you always pick the “wrong guy” it’s time to take an inventory.  Something is clearly going on that needs fixing. But no worries. There is a great fix for this once and for all. You need to figure out why you attract and are picking the unhealthy guys. Everything we do has a purpose behind it. Once you figure out what the attraction is really about, you can change direction. Now, in all fairness, it works both ways. This concept applies to guys picking the wrong women. It…

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Effective Ways of Building Trust in Someone and Also Yourself

Building Trust

Romantic relationships are the most vulnerable relationships we have. Our heart does what it wants, whether it’s good for us or not. This is why building trust in someone is essential if you want to feel less vulnerable.   However, romantic relationships are not alone in causing a vulnerability. Children are very vulnerable because they don’t even know about trust and how to build it. They don’t get to pick their parents. Therefore, they must find their own way to feel emotionally safe and secure, kind of in the “dark”. We’ll discuss this further when it comes to Self-Esteem in this…

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11 Signs Of An Emotionally Safe and Secure Romantic Relationship

Signs Of A Secure Relationship

Emotionally safe and secure relationships are not just about romantic relationships. It’s essential to have safe and secure relationships with family, friends, coworkers, etc.  However, in certain ways, this is not always in our control – especially in families. We don’t choose our family members, and they may not want the same things as you do. Or they may not be willing to risk doing the work to have a secure bond. For an overview of the Relationship Checklist article as a whole, click here: This article is about developing those relationships that are healthier for you, whether it’s romantic,…

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Relationship Checklist for Couples – Explained

Realtionship Checklist Intro

This article explains the concepts behind the Relationship Checklist that I introduced in a previous article (Link). Relationships are like a Greenhouse: You have especially chosen your flowers and plants because they are appealing to you and give you joy. But just like a greenhouse, relationships need loving care and a lot of work and maintenance to flourish. They need to be nourished in order to grow. Stop this maintenance and you get weeds! The Relationship Checklist assembles the ingredients I have discovered over the years for a healthy garden. It takes practice and the willingness to be vulnerable with the…

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So What if You Don’t Have Someone for Valentine’s Day? Make it About YOU!

Here we go again. You don’t have someone for Valentine’s Day. Another Valentine’s Day with high expectations, or for others, sadness. Is it simply a day to avoid or to look forward to it? Fun? Expensive? Depressing? Emotionally Void of feelings? Holidays are never “a one size fits all” no matter what the industry wants you to believe. You can see Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, or one of dread, pressure, and overspending.  For some, it reminds them of being alone and feeling “less than” or inadequate. For others, it is a holiday to demonstrate or perhaps “show off”…

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