What Have You Learned About Yourself During the Covid-19 Pandemic?

COVID Life LessonsFor many people, the Covid-19 pandemic brought with it many challenges. But with those challenges comes a great opportunity to have learned about yourself. For example, how you deal with the unknown or that you didn’t have your group of friends around you? Did you build new trust in your coping abilities? Do you recognize what you could have done differently? If you live with a partner, what have you both learned about your relationship?

Let’s take a look at some of the positive things that may have come out of the pandemic.


How Did You Deal With Being Alone at Times?

Most people enjoy and get nourished by being around other people. But not everyone feels this way. Some people need their space. Some were forced to work at home because of the pandemic. When that occurs, it’s common for some people to realize how much comfort they get from coworkers and friends.

If that fits your experience, how did you deal with the change? Did you reach out to other people, or did you wait for them to reach out to you?

If you didn’t feel comfortable reaching out, think about why you felt that way. Did you feel you might bother them or they wouldn’t reach out to you? In this new way of life currently, discomfort to reach out to others was pretty normal and probably common.

What did you learn about yourself when you were alone? What did you do about it, and what could you do in the future to feel more secure and safe?


Did You Reach Out to Family or Friends to Ask for Support if You Needed It?

Often we are not aware of how we truly feel about certain dynamics until we bump into them. Isolation, change, and dealing with the unknown are all great times to reach out for support. Did you do that? If not, why not? Was there something in the way that made you feel “needy” or less than? Did you fear that others would judge you negatively? If that’s the case, was that concern accurate, or was it your fear talking?

If you didn’t reach out for fear of rejection or bothering someone, now is a great time to talk to your friends or family about how you were feeling, and see if your fear was really accurate for them.


Who of Your Friends Were Supportive of You? Were You a Supportive Friend?

In times of challenges, some people withdraw and others seek the company and support of others. We each have our own comfort zone of what works for us.

If you reached out for some support from your friends how did they respond? How did their response make you feel? Would you risk reaching out for support from them again in the future? If the answer is “no” then it’s important to figure out what you want to do next. Do you want to keep those relationships? If so, it’s important to talk things out. Let them know how you felt they weren’t there for you.

Sometimes it may be that they were struggling during the pandemic just like you were. You won’t know how they felt if you don’t ask.

If you didn’t reach out to them or support them, why not? Was there something in the way that had you keep to yourself? If you find that you could have reached out, but didn’t, think about what kept you from doing that and talk to your friends about that.


If You Have a Partner, What Have You Learned About Yourself and Your Relationship?

We all experience trying times our own way. Did you pull away from your partner, or did you come forward to reconnect? Did you ask for what you needed from them during your more difficult times? Did they do this with you?

If you find the answer is “no”, it’s important to talk about the “why”. Was there something in the way that had one or both of you not ask for what you needed? Sometimes it’s a fear of rejection or a risk of being denied what you needed. That can feel especially vulnerable when the relationship is an important and intimate one.


Final Thoughts

So what have you learned about yourself? In thinking about the Covid-19 Pandemic, what comes up for you when it’s about asking for what you need from someone? Do you ask or hold back? Either way, it’s very important to always talk through any issue that can come between you and a mate, friend, or family member.

The more important a relationship is to us, the more vulnerable we tend to feel because we don’t want to lose that relationship. So it’s not a “bad” thing if you didn’t speak up and ask for what you wanted or needed from someone important to you. But it’s an opportunity to think about what would work better for you in the future.

Speak up with your friends, family members, or mate and discuss this. Chances are they may feel very similar to your feelings and thoughts.

About Susan Saint-Welch

Susan Saint-Welch LMFT has counseled couples and individuals for many years on issues such as dating, marriage, family drama, coping with difficult times, improving self-image and living the life you love. She provides psychotherapy for clients in California and Dating, Couples and Life Coaching for clients outside California through secure video conferencing. She has published numerous articles regarding these issues on her website, on YourTango.com and on MSN.com.

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