Take Control of This New Year! Here’s How to Make it Work For YOU!

Take Control Of This New YearWhen you truly take control of this New Year, things don’t just magically happen. They happen because you are doing those things that really work for you and make you happy. It means you put the work into your life to make positive changes. Making these changes means you value and believe in yourself.

This isn’t just “Hype.” This really works! Here’s what you need to do:


Identify What Isn’t Working For You and Makes You Unhappy

To make changes that truly impact your current life experiences, you need first to identify what works and what is not working for you. Before you can change the positive things, you must first identify those things that have negative results.

 Here are some examples:

  1. Poor boundaries with others, i.e., not speaking up when you don’t agree about something.
  2. Not asking for what you want.
  3. Accepting behaviors from others that don’t make you happy
  4. Not believing you are worthy of happiness.
  5. Fear of losing your current friends if you begin to change
  6. Not truly valuing yourself because you feel you’re “not enough.”

These are just some of the behaviors that work against us and are about not valuing ourselves. To move forward positively, you need to know what you are doing that truly is not working.


Figure Out What You Really Want This Year: Take Control of Your Life!

One thing that will motivate you is to identify those things you want to fit you truly. It isn’t easy to move forward in a fog, where we can’t see where we’re going and so can’t identify it when we get there. 

Therefore, start with those things that you already know you like. Do you want those things enough to work towards getting them? What will those things do for you when you get them? Do you want these things to prove something to yourself, or that you truly desire them? For example, sometimes people choose careers for status or money, not considering how they’ll feel actually doing the job. 

To take control of your direction, you need to identify those things you want, but to also take a serious look in the mirror and ask yourself…  ”do I truly deserve to be happy?” If the answer is “no” or in question, then you need to decide why you don’t deserve to live a happy life. 

What’s in the way that makes you feel like this? Sometimes it’s been with us for such a long time; we forget how young and impressionable we were when we first believed this. Now that you’re older, you have the ability to analyze and question if those beliefs are truly valid.


Getting Motivated:  What It Will be Like When You Have What You Truly Want?

Will this new path make you happy and fulfilled in your career? Do you see enjoying what you are doing? Does this excite you when you think about this path? What will you gain by taking this path? Enjoyment? Status? Substantially more money? What does it feel like as you think about taking control of these things?

Sometimes the unknown factors in life can feel daunting to us. That’s normal because we don’t know how things will be until we’re actually in that experience. But don’t let that stop you. That’s a normal feeling everybody has at some point in their life. 

The more your choice truly fits you, the more likely you are to enjoy your path. If you think about this path and it doesn’t excite you or feel positive for you, maybe it’s not the right path. However, don’t confuse this with the discomfort we all feel at times with the “unknown.”


Change Those Things That Work Against What You Really Want

Before you take control of this New Year, you must fix those things that don’t work for you and get in your way. Sometimes it may be that you’re not putting effort into what makes you happy. Or perhaps it’s that you don’t know what you want, so you never put the work in to figure it out. It just stays there and ways heavily on you.

Sometimes we “fall into” a job we didn’t set out to do or choose. If that’s the case, it’s important to take an inventory of what you really like and what doesn’t fit you before moving forward.

Other times we avoid moving forward because it feels like it’ll be too much work. If that’s the case, you need to decide what you want: to be in a job that makes you unhappy or to do the work it takes to move forward in your life and career.

 “Fear of the unknown” or that we may fail are common blocks. It’s easy to understand why. However, if you let that fear control you, you’re giving up what might make you happier in life, to say nothing about the better health that follows being happy.

To move forward, you need to change those things that are in your way. Being happy is a process of choosing and going after those things we like.


Final Thoughts

If this process feels “daunting” and overwhelming to you, that’s normal. You don’t have to take this journey alone. A psychotherapist is trained in helping people move forward. Don’t be afraid to take this road if you feel it will help you along your journey. Remember, they don’t teach this “stuff” in school, so how do you know what always works for you?

The choice is always in your hands. You can stay on a path that is “known” but not nourishing for you. Or you can take a chance, do the work, and move in the direction that fits you. It’s your choice! The future can be unsettling, but it also may lead you to a path of joy and wellbeing!

Take control of this New Year!

About Susan Saint-Welch

Susan Saint-Welch LMFT has counseled couples and individuals for many years on issues such as dating, marriage, family drama, coping with difficult times, improving self-image and living the life you love. She provides psychotherapy for clients in California and Dating, Couples and Life Coaching for clients outside California through secure video conferencing. She has published numerous articles regarding these issues on her website, on YourTango.com and on MSN.com.

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