8 Signs to Know If An Independent Woman Will Make You Happy

Living with an emotionally healthy independent woman can be challenging, but you should not consider her a challenge to see if you are “man enough”. The independent woman has goals and aspirations that are very similar to yours and the challenge comes from deciding on a fair distribution of whose goals will take priority. She doesn’t need a man for protection, financial security or status. Although she is quite capable of living alone but prefers to share her life with her mate. She wants a romantic partner she can feel close to, with whom she can share her home life. She is faithful to her mate. An independent woman has a good sense of self and she has several friends and activities that she enjoys. She may have a successful career, or may be happy with her job as it is. This independent woman may or may not want children, but will be clear about her decision either way. She knows herself well – what works for her and what doesn’t. She knows what makes her happy and goes after it. This independent woman manages her finances successfully on her own. Would you be happy with such a woman?

You and your independent woman would need to share the following values to the same degree:

1. Emotional closeness

A healthy independent woman will want an emotionally intimate relationship. You will need to do your part in that. This means that you both take responsibility for emotional intimacy in the relationship. For example, you both reach for the other person to connect and feel close to one another.

2. Social independence.

A healthy and independent woman will have a variety of friends, activities and possible work events. You would need to have some of your own interests and activities to avoid relying on her busy life.

3. Confidence in her fidelity

An independent woman will spend a good portion of her time away from you. If you have been cheated on in the past or have been unfaithful yourself then you may question whether she may be cheating. Not everyone cheats. You need to feel comfortable with your partner and ask her about her history and if she has cheated in the past. If you are the one who has cheated you are more likely to believe she is cheating, even if this is not the case. An independent woman may not be the right match for you. This type of woman needs an independent and emotionally secure man to share her life.

An independent woman is not going to want to deal with jealousy in a relationship. This will likely be a deal-breaker for her.

4. Self-esteem

She will want a man who has a very secure self-esteem. She will emotionally support you but won’t want to be responsible for you feeling good about yourself. We are all responsible for our own feelings of self worth.

5. Financial independence

Again, this goes back to your sense of self and how secure you feel. Men like to feel needed and finances are often where men can exceed the woman’s financial status. An independent woman will not “need” your money to be comfortable in life. Also, she would likely be making her own decisions about her finances. Are you going to be OK with this? And what if she makes more money than you? Are you comfortable with this?

6. Career goals

This is a big issue to consider and absolutely shapes the relationship lifestyle. Independent women often highly value their career and may see it as equal to having a family. They may want to continue to advance their career after each child’s birth if children are in the picture. This is an important factor to know about yourself ahead of time regarding whether this fits you.

What does your picture look like? Are you going to be comfortable if she chooses to move forward in her career or even surpasses your career? What if her advancement involves a move out of state or even out of the country?

There is a big difference between having a family where the wife stays at home with the kids, versus a career woman who may want it all: a career and a family. What if this means you will need to step up more often to help? Will this affect your career?

Her career may mean more to her than money. Some careers involve prestige, which may result in others respecting her career or position more than yours. Are you going to feel secure enough to handle this? Again, this is not about a challenge. It is about what will make you happy.

7. Decisions about having children

Having children affects your lifestyle together, and how this might affect her career, as well as yours. You both need to be in agreement about this decision because you each will be living this particular life choice. A highly independent woman may choose not to have kids, either because of her desire to focus on her career, or that she does not want that lifestyle that includes having kids. You both need to feel resolved in this decision because it could affect you for life one way or another.

8. Time with family and relatives

Some independent women enjoy making time for family, but others do not feel the need. What if your independent woman is not close to her own family and focuses on her career and her mate by choice? She may not feel drawn to family in general and does not seek out either family. This may come from making a healthy choice rather than an avoidance of a negative family dynamic. What will this be like if you enjoy getting together with your family?

Final Thoughts

This is not a complete list. You may find other factors to consider before choosing a healthy and independent woman to share your life. You need to honestly evaluate these situations and questions before you commit to an independent woman, no matter how enticing she may be.

About Susan Saint-Welch

Susan Saint-Welch LMFT has counseled couples and individuals for many years on issues such as dating, marriage, family drama, coping with difficult times, improving self-image and living the life you love. She provides psychotherapy for clients in California and Dating, Couples and Life Coaching for clients outside California through secure video conferencing. She has published numerous articles regarding these issues on her website, on YourTango.com and on MSN.com.

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